ATHENIANS REJOICE DEFEAT OF MINOTAUR
King's Untimely Death Overshadows Celebration


ATHENS (MP) -- The citizens of Athens rejoiced the successful return of Theseus and the dissolution of their tribute to the Cretain King Minos in spite of the loss of their beloved King Aegeus by unfortunate accident.

Athenian Prince Theseus joined the doomed tribute party to Crete after returning to rule from his birthplace in southern Greece. Athens had been forced to send tribute every nine years to Crete since visiting Prince Androgeus was accidentally killed on a boar hunt sponsored by the King. This tribute party of seven youths and seven maidens was led into a complicated maze created by Daedalus to spend their remaining days fearful of their fate to come--to be torn limb from limb by a horrible beast, half man and half bull.

With help from Cretain Princess Ariadne, Theseus marked his path in the labyrinth and then bare-handedly fought and killed the minotaur. He then returned out of the maze, boarded his vessel, and sailed for Athens with Ariadne.

Unfortunately, Athenian King Aegeus died suddenly slightly before Theseus' vessel docked. Evidently the King had been standing on a rock outcropping on the Acropolis straining to see the returning vessel when he slipped on a loose pebble and plummeted to his death in the rocky waters below. The returning party then stopped to gather his remains in a spare white sail to be prepared for a proper funeral.

"This is a very important day in Athens," an anonymous citizen said. "The loss of my lord and King Aegeus is very distressing, but the future youth of this great state will no longer have to worry about being sent to their early deaths."

"Quite frankly, I'm shocked!" stated Theseus. "I was hoping to share this joyous occasion with my father and now have only remorse."

The Cretain authorities were not available for comment on the defeat of the minotaur or the death of King Aegeus..

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