WOMEN ACCUSE ZEUS OF ABUSE
Mt. Olympus Not Available For Comment


OLYMPUS (MP)--A class action lawsuit has been filed by two local women demanding restitution for their losses incurred when abducted from happy home by Zeus, king of gods and men. Europa, 36, and Io, a 29 year old white heifer, allege that Mr. Zeus blatently disregarded the consequences to them when he forgot his previous marriage and approached them insistent upon a relationship in seperate incidents.

"That beast," stated Io, "took away my entire life." Zeus had fallen in love with her and appeared on the earth cloaked in a thick cloud. His wife, Hera, recalls the event. "As soon as he left Olympus in that cloud I knew that he was wandering again. So I went down to Earth to stop him." Upon observing Hera's approach, Zeus used his magical powers to turn princess Io into a small white heifer. "Ever since that fateful day, I have been a cow," Io said. "I have been watched by a hundred-eyed beast, listened to by a hundred-eared beast, smelled by a hundred-nosed monster, and to top it all off chased by a stinging gad-fly!"

Princess Europa's predicament is similar. "One bright morning I was out in the royal gardens smelling the flowers," she recalls. "I noticed this handsome, well behaved boar standing over in the next row. I went up to pet it, and it reached out, snatched me, and took off across the ocean!" Europa ended up in Crete and bore two children, Minos and Rhadamanthus, to the god in disguise. "I know that that was Zeus," Europa declares. "He said so."

Zeus was not available for comment, although Mrs. Hera Zeus stated that "Zeus wander about earth snatching women? Over my dead body!"


The two women's class action lawsuit charges that Zeus, king of gods and men, has disregarded the well-being of the women he has abducted and sought relationships with. If you believe that you have been unjustly persecuted by or because of a relationship with Zeus, please mail the Olympian Supreme Court First District Prosecutor's Office using the form below. Please note that filing an illegitimate complaint constitutes contempt of court and is a felony under Olympian Code Section 1.1 Section III. Don't forget that immortals can trace anonymous Internet requests.

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